What are the difficulties associated with relationships with asperger's sufferers?

I have recently started seeing a guy who has asperger's, and he has always found relationships very difficult. He gets very anxious about any kind of intimacy. I just want to know what I can do to make it easier for him.What are the difficulties associated with relationships with asperger's sufferers?
To be honest, it won't be easy that's for sure. I am an Asperger male in my late 30s, who still has trouble with relationships. Intimacy is a problem for me because I am not a big fan of the Human touch. I am attracted to women and find myself wanting to be intimate but when it comes to the reality even non-sexual things like kissing, hugging, holding hands, heck even just standing close to one another can be a major challenge because of sensory overload issues.








The Male Role, where guys are expected to take the initiative and ask the girl out and initiate intimacy, can be very problematic. We Aspies are very socially awkward and it is very difficult to “know when” the time is right to make the move. Reading the other person’s cues can be confounding. It might help to initiate if you don’t mind doing that.








What can you do? Try talking to him and seeing what his comfort level is. Most people with Aspergers like routine so if the intimacy is low and infrequent, he might get comfortable in the routine anyways.





Note: If the intimacy is not going along far enough and fast enough to your liking and is causing frustrations for you, it is best to gently let him know you need more before any frustrations boil over.What are the difficulties associated with relationships with asperger's sufferers?
Asperger's is a ';spectrum'; disorder. It can range from barely noticeable to completely distracting.





One of my students had the disorder. She was extremely bright and had a photographic memory, but she had difficulty relating to others. An example was a ';conversation'; we had. She simply did not know how to make small talk, and she was not interested in me or my perspective, so she didn't ask the normal ';How are you today'; type of questions.





-';Hi. How are you this morning.';


---';I read a book last night about 16th century pottery.';


-';That must be interesting. Are you making pottery in art class?';


---';Korean artists perfected the method of using various clays in an incised pattern before the pots were fired.';





She could recite facts accurately all day long, and she had learned to wait her turn before adding to the conversation, but the nack of give -and-take eluded her.





If you are in a relationship with this guy, he must be better able to relate to people than this girl was. She didn't invite intimacy because she simply didn't see a need for input from others, although she did want to be accepted. If your guy is afraid of intimacy, don't force it on him. If you are content to respond to him in like manner to what he does show you, then you may be able to introduce more personal quirks of your own over time. Just don't take his ';disinterest'; or fear of intimacy personally. You will literally have to teach him how to treat you. Asperger's sufferers are generally very smart, and he'll want to learn from you, but patience will be at a premium. If he's gotten to this age and hasn't figured it out, it may take years for him to relax into a truly intimate relationship.





High functioning asperger's patients make excellent researchers, inventors, and sometimes professors. They can be very good providers, but often remain socially awkward their entire lives.





Good luck. Don't take it personally, even when it FEELS personal.
People with Asperger's and others that fall into the autism spectrum disorders do have a difficult time with intimacy. The problem is, even with that diagnosis, each individual has their own set of symptoms to varying degress. I would talk to him about it, and ask him what makes him uncomfortable, and then I would go by that.