Tuesday, January 19, 2010

How did you deal with the guilt of your failed relationships?

It wasn't really my fault. But at the end of the day it still doesn't make the guilt go away.

I wish i could just start over with him. Is that so wrong? Everyday i start to feel worst. Every time see him i feel worst. Last time i got a headache. Stress i tell you. How did you deal with the guilt of your failed relationships?
You start by forgiving yourself and allowing yourself to heal. The only person suffering from the guilt is you and nobody else. However, you say it was not your fault. Still your are feeling guilt. I do not know why this is the case but it does suggest that you explore your feelings and be honest with yourself.

Accept what your cannot change and move on. One thing is certain, there is happiness for you in the future. Do not cling to what was or what could have been. Resist the evils of jealousy or envy toward this person or anyone he will eventually meet and date. Remember the good from the relationship and what you learnt from both the good and bad and this will help you in the future in other relationships. You will grow as a person and this will help you maintain a good, healthy and long-term relationship with someone else down the road. Relationships are like musical instruments. Few people are ever successful in learning how to master that instrument without hard work and practice鈥攅xperience makes the difference.

You wish you could just start over with him and you wonder if this is wrong. No it is not wrong to feel this way. You obviously have strong feelings towards this person. Human beings really hate change. Change causes uncertainty and fear and some times we confuse uncertainty and fear with other feelings. Some times, we just wish to preserve the status quo. We fail to see that change can be positive. It brings newness to life and in this way, we expand our horizons. I do not know if in your case there is any chance of reconciliation. However, if it is clear that there is no chance of reconciliation then there is no point in trying to hang on to that relationship. It only hurts you and makes the other person want to avoid you even more. Some people can remain friends after a breakup but many cannot. Regardless, civility, politeness and respect are something we should show to everyone even after a breakup. You will no doubt meet this person from time to time and you should be able to speak with him without getting into old static from the relationship.

Love, real love, is a beautiful thing. When at first we do not succeed, the rule is try and try again and in some cases that does involve moving on. True love may be down the road after maybe even a few more relationships. You never know really but one thing is certain, you do not stick with something that is not working because you just want a relationship or you feel guilty. If a relationship was abusive in any way, the best thing to do is to avoid future contact with this person absolutely but you must still move on and be happy, as I have already suggested. So how did I deal with the guilt of failed relationships, I developed the philosophy that I have just shared with you.

How did you deal with the guilt of your failed relationships?
Of course we feel terrible we wanted to be with our partner but for one reason or another it's over. Sometimes for a little while and sometimes for good. We tend to put all the blame on ourselves. It's a relationship

he has to do his part too. You are not the one that needs to do all the work for the relationship. If you feel you need to start all over is because you feel the guilt of the relationship dissolving don't put the blame on you only. Maybe it was not you...sometimes they put the blame on us so that they won't feel so bad leaving us. Re-evaluate the situation and think about all the bad things about the relationship make a list. All the good and all the bad and see what is the result.

Good Luck
Well first, what do you mean it wasn't really your fault ? A relationship is a 2 part commitment, both have to be willing to give and take, accepting the others

defects, and habits. To get over it, the only cure is time. To move on, you have learn from it and not do it again in your next relationship. Cut all ties, and start doing things to make yourself, feel good about you, i.e. change your wardrobe, hairstyle, and even begin to work out. Good luck and feel better, your worth it
Well 1 if it wasn't your fault stop blaming yourself that's what he wants you to do...

2 if it is really your fault, then i would try getting over it and move on. when you do move on remember not to repeat your mistake.

Good luck sweetie and remember everything happens for a reason maybe he just wasn't ';Mr. Right';
every failed relationship sucks no matter the situation. if you dont get back together you just get used to feeling like that and youll get over it. and if you do start over, you have to make the commitment to forget and forgive the past bull*** and never bring it up again.
There is no right or wrong way to deal with something like that,. All you can do is leave it knowing that you put your all into it and tried to make it work as best as you can and if it didnt work, then it wasnt meant to be.
I had no guilt, i felt relief. Somethings are not meant to be and you cant let what was or the thought of it rule your life. Just stop thinking about it, find something to keep your mind off it and in time all will be well.
Man If the relationship fail with me it is most likely the other person and not really me. I usually ened mine only to find out I was getting cheated on so me I have no regrets breaking up with a loser who dont want to be with me anymore lol
You shouldn't feel guilty. People make mistakes, its how they grow. If you take what you have learned from that relationship, then you are a better person. Make sure the next relationship you don't make the same mistake.
It's one of life's trials. It's up to you to decide whether you are going to keep living in your guilt or start living life to the fullest. What's it going to be?
Just look at everything that you have benefited from since then.
By becoming an atheist and realizing that it was all in my head.
I head butt the wall! Then my head hurts.

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