Sunday, January 17, 2010

Would relationships work better if we were all simple and honest?

Or too much honesty and not enough ';punch'; or appeal or uniqueness to our personality hinder a good relationship as well?Would relationships work better if we were all simple and honest?
Depends on the honesty:

1. Do not lie by hiding your true persona, your family, and/or civil/legal status it'll come to bite in the butt.

2. On the other hand, yes, too much honesty in the relationship can hinder it to the breakup point. Be honest, but never offensive, there's a fine line between those two, know the difference that way you won't cross the line.

3. Don't lie about your sexual past, and that is not about how many you've had, or past activities, but about likes, dislikes, etc, and see how much you can say to the person.

4.Be careful about your actions, if you don't want your mate to find out, then, don't do it.

5.If you do something you shouldn't done and decide to confess make sure is about them, not about you and your guilt, because the guilt is your problem, not theirs, no need to feel good at someone else expense, and then, have the nerve to expect full forgiveness in order to continue the relationship, just because you were ';open and honest';, there are ways to purge your conscience without breaking somebody

heart and taking away their peace of mind.


AdiWould relationships work better if we were all simple and honest?
It's perfectly possible to have uniqueness and personality and be entirely honest in relationships as well.

I do have some credibility here: I'm married, and have two boyfriends and a girlfriend as well. Everyone is friends with everyone else, and have been for years.

I recommend ';The Ethical Slut'; to most people. Even if you aren't polyamorous, it's a very good resource that discusses how to identify what you want and where you are in relationships, and how to communicate that effectively and lovingly to a partner.
No, they wouldn't. A degree of dishonesty is the lubricant that makes relationships run smoothly. I adore my wife and would never do anything to hurt her, so I will NOT be totally honest with her. If I answered every question with brutal honesty it would destroy her self esteem. (And I don't play around, I am not talking about that sort of dishonesty.)

I tell her I like her friends when I can't stand some of them. Being truthful would gain nothing for either of us. When she spends hours shopping for an outfit that I find mediocre and unflattering for her, I won't rubbish it, I'll pretend enthusiasm - though later I'll hint that possibly another style/colour etc., might be more flattering.

These are little areas of dishonesty, BUT in the really important areas, those that cause real damage if not addressed, honesty is essential. The skill in maintaining a successful relationship is knowing which is which, and doing the right thing.
I prefer my soul-mate and close friends to be sincere, humble, trusty and simple folks.

This situation would allow relationships to be strong and long-lasting, esp when everyone shares generously in time, and exchanges of ideas, skills, knowledge and in kind. But remember the truly honest individual will be a rare find, probably only one in a thousand, or ten thousands. So do not set your expectations too high, towards perfection -- often the situation does not exist.

Arrogant ones who believe only in materialism, and fake talk or actions are not my type. It is risky to associate with them, in the long run. So spread your net real wide to snare a good catch of fish, to select really good ones. Life-long friends or soul-mates are the greatest form of treasures greater than any diamonds, property or gold one may keep.
I love honesty, the plain, simple and brutal truth. As for if we were all ';simple';, the world wouldn't get very far if that were the case.

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